Today’s recipe is a simple yet delicious roasted grape and fennel salad that I’ve been meaning to make for at least a year and since I’ve been seeing lots of beautiful fennel bulbs in shops lately, I’ve finally decided that now is the time. When I go through my recipe notes I realise that I have many recipes like that. Recipes that I enjoy and intend to share, but somewhere in between coming up with the concept and buying ingredients for the photoshoot I manage to talk myself out of the idea entirely… I decide that it’s not good enough. That’s something I do all the time. Duncan is always on me not to judge myself so harshly, but it’s so imprinted on my brain that it’s as automatic as breathing…
My therapist has helped me see that it is just a habit I developed in order to protect myself when I was a child and now that I am a fully grown adult (on paper at least), and I have 100% control over my own life, I need to work on getting rid of it. It makes me miserable and keeps me in the hold of depression and anxiety. I’m learning to recognise my own thoughts, challenge them and overhaul this toxic way of thinking, little by little. It’s a difficult and painful process but I take solace from countless neuroscientists who confirm that the human brain has a great degree of plasticity and that cultivating good habits (including thinking) guarantees positive change. That’s my personal project for the next year, year and a half (however long it takes). I know it is worth giving it everything I’ve got.
30 ml / 2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil or 1 tbsp walnut or cashew butter (for oil-free version) sea salt and black pepper, to taste 2 tbsp lemon juice 1 tsp white / shiro miso paste 2 tsp wholegrain mustard 1 small garlic clove or ½ small shallot, finely grated
